佚名/Anonymous
Irritating speech habits destroy our professional credibility. Examples of irritating speech habits are sentences that end with dangling prepositions (Where did you hang your coat at?) and conversations peppered with "ums," "uhs," "like," and other space-filler noises. We'll be focusing here on another speech habit one that sends a subtle message to listeners that it's okay to abdicate responsibility.
How can a mere speech habit keep us from reflecting professionalism while causing us to abdicate responsibility? Let me demonstrate by example. In seminars I conduct around the country, I often ask a question of my clients: What physical manifestations do you personally experience when you find yourself in a tense situation? Generally, the answer to this question is phrased in the following ways:
"You get a tight throat."
"Your palms get sweaty."
"Your heart starts to race."
Now, notice the answers and how they are phrased versus the way the question was asked. In the question I asked for what you personally experience. But the people answering my question have shifted the response away from being about themselves (thus, abdicating responsibility for their feelings) by choosing to use the pronoun "you" in place of "I". This shift of focus conveys a sense of shifting responsibility because it indicates a refusal to accept what they are experiencing. In this situation, the respondents are essentially suggesting that they are speaking for me and what I experience in these situations rather than speaking for themselves.
In these situations, I realize that the respondents are not intentionally or deliberately saying they are speaking for me. But the subtle shift in pronoun usage shifts the focus away from themselves and on to someone else. And any time we abdicate responsibility for something we're experiencing, we're damaging our professional credibility. We may unintentionally be implying to our listeners that we are refusing to accept responsibility for our actions and responses. You mean accepting or abdicating responsibility is that subtle? Yes, that subtle and that damaging to our credibility.
As professionals, we should be interested in how we represent ourselves in every communication situation. A slight lapse of conscious effort on our part to communicate clearly and responsibly indicates to our partners in communication that we are shifting responsibility away from ourselves.
When asked a pointed question such as, What physical manifestations do you personally experience when you find yourself in a tense situation? The response we give conveys whether we're willing to accept responsibility for our behavior and responses. If our subordinates sense that we are abdicating responsibility, they in turn may take it as acceptable behavior when they are asked challenging questions. Likewise, we never want to unintentionally send a message to our supervisors that we are attempting to avoid responsibility.
The consequences of an unguarded communication moment are enormous. Professionals who have attained high-level positions in their organizations rarely abdicate responsibility. When they do, they incur severe consequences for their actions. When we keep the larger picture and the more costly consequences in mind, it becomes easier to see that we can never let our guards down when it comes to communicating professionally. We must constantly be aware of each word we choose reflects our beliefs about ourselves and our responsibility in the matters at hand.
Ensuring that we are accepting responsibility with our words as well as with our actions will help us protect our professional credibility. And there's another advantage: We'll be modeling the behavior we want from others, encouraging them to accept responsibility for themselves.
令人厭煩的說話習慣有損你的專業可信度。我們以介詞結尾的句子為例（你把你的外套掛在哪裏？），還有交談中連續出現的口語“嗯”“啊”“噢”和其他的一些口頭語。在這裏，我們重點說一說另一種說話習慣，這種習慣在說話時會將“放棄職責也無所謂”的信息傳遞給對方。
僅僅是說話的習慣，又是怎樣反映我們的專業性，使我們疏於職守呢？讓我來舉例說明。在我公司舉行的全國研討會上，我經常會問我的客戶：當你發現自己身處緊張的局麵中時，你身體方麵的反應是什麽樣的？通常，這個問題的答案都是以下幾種：
“你感覺嗓子發緊。”
“你的手掌冒汗。”
“你的心跳加速。”
現在，請注意觀察一下這些回答，看看他們是如何組織語言回答這個問題的。在問題中，我問的是“你自己的親身經曆”，但是人們在回答問題時卻用“你”代替了“我”（因此，放棄了他們的感覺責任），將回答從自己身上轉移開了。這種轉移主要是一種責任的轉移，因為這表明了他們拒絕接受自己正在經曆的東西。在這種情況下，回答者從本質上暗示了他們是在說我在這種境況中的反應，而不是在說他們。
我意識到，在這些情況下，回答者並不是有意說我，而是代詞上的微妙變化將問題的主體對象從他們身上轉移到了別人身上。無論什麽時候，當我們將責任轉嫁到別的事物上時，我們的專業性就會受到損害。也許我們在不經意間暗示了聽者，我們拒絕為我們的行為與反應負責。你是說承擔或放棄責任是很微妙的事情嗎？是的，是微妙的，並且正損害著我們的可信度。
身為專業人士的我們，應當注意如何在每一個場合很好地表現自己。交流中我們有意識犯下的小錯誤，可以清晰地暗示給對方，我們正在將責任從自己的身上移開。
當我們問一個尖銳的問題時，例如，當你發現自己身處緊張的局麵中時，你的身體有什麽反應？我們的回答可以表明我們是否願意為自己的行為和反應負責。如果我們的下屬人員意識到我們在放棄職責，那麽他們可能會認為，當被問及有挑戰性的問題時，他們放棄責任也是可以的。同樣，我們永遠也不希望被上級知道，我們正試圖逃避責任。
粗心大意交談的後果是很嚴重的。位高權重的專業人員很少放棄責任。一旦這樣做了，一定會招致嚴重的後果。當我們心中有了大局意識，知道了放棄責任的高昂代價時，就很容易明白，專業交談就不會讓我們的客戶失望。在談及專業問題時，時刻都需要小心謹慎。我們必須時刻意識到，我們所選用的每一個字都反映了我們的信仰以及我們對手頭事情的責任。
我們要確保在語言和行動上都承擔起責任，這會保護我們的專業可信度。這樣做的另一個優點是：我們正在為他人做出榜樣，鼓勵他們承擔起自己的責任。
The important thing in life is to have a great aim, and the determination to attain it.
—Goethe
人生重要的事情就是確定一個偉大的目標，並決心實現它。
——歌德
irritating[?iri?teiti?]adj.刺激的；使憤怒的；氣人的
Readers may find the pretension and arrogance of her style irritating.
讀者能感覺到她文章中的狂妄自負令人反感。
abdicate[??bdikeit]v.放棄；退位；辭職；退出
He abdicated his responsibilities and fled.
他放棄自己的職責逃跑了。
seminar[?seminɑ:]n. （大學的）研究班；研討會
The old professor had presided over a seminar for theoretical physicists.
老教授主持了一次理論物理學家的研討會。
incur[in?k?:]v.招致；蒙受；遭遇
People who smoke incur a great danger to their health.
吸煙的人給他們的身心招致了很大的危險。
令人厭煩的說話習慣有損你的專業可信度。
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我們要確保在語言和行動上都承擔起責任，這會保護我們的專業可信度。
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我們正在為他人做出榜樣，鼓勵他們承擔起自己的責任。
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If our subordinates sense that we are abdicating responsibility, they in turn may take it as acceptable behavior when they are asked challenging questions.
in turn：依次；輪流；反過來
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We must constantly be aware of how each word we choose reflects our beliefs about ourselves and our responsibility in the matters at hand.
be aware of：意識到
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